Explain Writing

In Te Ngahere we have been writing to explain why the Paihia School pump track is a special place to our community. I found this writing very challenging because I did not get to use I, me or we  and it was hard to not to use persuasive words. Not using I, me or we made me realise that we used those words a lot in our writing. I am hoping you can give me some feedback on your experience writing explain pieces of writing thank you. 

My Writing: 

Do you have a special place where you can go and have fun with your family? Have you heard

of Paihia schools pump track ?  Paihia schools pump track is a special place to our

community because it is a great way to stay fit and healthy. It is also a great family activity, it's

free and the pump track is really easy to access.

The Paihia school pump track is a great way to keep fit and healthy. This is a great way to stay

fit and healthy but also have a lot of fun for both adults and kids. This is a  great way to get out

and bike in the fresh air instead of being inside on an exercise bike. This is also a great way to

get kids of their devices and get them out having fun in the fresh air. 

Paihia School pump track is a great place to take kids for there birthday or just family activity as

it is free and great fun. There  is no limit to how many people riding on the track at a time so

the whole family can be there having a good time even if there are twenty people in your family. 

Our Paihia school pump track open to everybody and is easily accessible for locals and people staying in motels nearby. if you want to go ride somewhere nearby but you don't want to have

the trouble of trying to get in then go to Paihia school pump track it is really easy to access.